Freedom through Acceptance… A Daring Post!

(Deep breath). I’m about to say something you won’t hear very often. I certainly don’t hear it very often, but I can say it with confidence: I have the coolest mother-in-law on the block.

Yep, no doubt that’s not something you hear every day, huh!? It’s pretty cool to be able to say that. Now that I’ve just added a few more brownie points with her, let’s see how many I lose as I try to explain this.

You see my mother-in-law is a very, ahem, intense individual. She is the smartest person on the planet for one, and she has the ability to focus and give more energy to a task than anyone I know (although her offspring, my wife and her sisters both are moving in the right direction). Once she sets her mind on accomplishing something or figuring something out, she is ALL IN.

The output is the most dedicated volunteer any organization has ever seen. The most energetic party host. The most engaged “Mimi” when it comes to fun for the grandkids, and a heck of a scrabble player. Oh yeah, did I mention she runs more miles every week than many “serious” 21 year old runners I know? Oh yeah, and did I mention she is an FAA Instrument Rated Pilot with ratings for high-performance aircraft and a nice little logbook of flying airplanes around?! She was the motivator for me to learn to fly. When Margaret and I were still dating, she suggested that I go take a lesson over Christmas holiday from school. When I asked her if she was kidding, she said “Johnson, there are two things we don’t joke about in this family: flying and spearfishing.” She then literally drove my butt to the airport and plopped me down with Irv Nesmith for my first flying lesson. Obviously, I never looked back and can thank her for that motivation.

So I hope I’ve painted an accurate picture of her and added a few more brownie points. Now it’s time to blow them. (deep breath)…

You see, there are the occasions where this intensity and focus on a task can be focused in a direction or on a task, that.. well, let’s say, is a different direction than where others might go… or on a different task than others might choose to focus. I will give myself some chance of surviving this post and leave out examples. BUT HERE’s THE POINT (finally!)… one time I was having an “open and direct” opinion sharing session (we’ll call it that) with her about how I felt about the task she was currently focused on. Her response is the lesson learned here. She said:

Johnson, you don’t get the good parts of me without the rest of me. So just keep that in mind when you get frustrated with me.

What a powerful statement! She was right! You don’t get exceptional awesomeness from anything without some downsides to serious intensity. You don’t get a driven, successful entreprenuer without some personality quirks. You can’t raise a kid who will push himself, his boundaries, and his abilities without dealing with him pushing his behavior boundaries, and teacher patience at school. As I’ve learned to take this wisdom into my daily living, it helps me keep the long game, the big picture, in mind. When a personality trait or quirky relationship issue bothers me, I simply slow down and ask myself is it worth the down side to get the good side? It almost always is.

Now, if you ever meet another blogger brave enough to write about his mother-in-law, I’d like to meet the crazy SOB.

Analysis of an Inspiring Moment

Beach Sunrise One morning during our recent vacation to my favorite spot on planet earth (Dog Island, FL), I had the pleasure of taking a chair and a cup of coffee down to the beach to enjoy the 30 minutes leading up to and the 30 minutes after the sunrise with my feet in the water. What a joy! Simply indescribable!

… Or is it!?

Once the caffeine started kicking in, my entrepreneurial brain kicked in to ask a question I ask a lot: “What about this experience is so awesome? WHY is this so wonderful?” Is it the colors of the sky? Then why do I not have the same feeling when I see these colors on my Mac? Is it the sounds of the waves… hmmm… well the kids have a white noise maker in their room to help them sleep with the same sounds, but it certainly isn’t an inspirational sound machine? Perhaps it’s the wildlife… the birds feeding, the fish jumping, the dolphins cruising the surf…?

Or maybe it’s something bigger and more philosophical maybe it’s the idea of an ocean (or really the Gulf of Mexico) meeting the land? Maybe it’s the juxtaposition of tiny microscopic things happening in the sand around my feet and in the water as I sit an enjoy the enormity of our planet?

Or maybe it’s just the fact that I’m sitting still, with no kids whining, no phone, no computer… just me and my butt sitting still. (Didn’t even have a fishing rod in my hand!)

What a fun question and… perhaps a fun challenge. If we could figure out the ingredients and mechanics of an inspirational experience like that, couldn’t we do better at everything we do by incorporating it into our lives, our marketing programs, our relationships, our speaking engagements, our products, and on and on? Wouldn’t life be better if every day had a little more “beach sunrise” in it?

Hmmmm… maybe there is something to this.

Why I Love Startups

It’s no secret that I’m addicted to meeting with and being around entrepreneurs in the startup phase of their business. I love hearing about new ideas, both good and bad. I love evaluating the idea and finding some way that even the most goofy idea can be turned into a better idea to actually generate wealth. I just love it! I actually have a written goal each week that I will meet with 3 entrepreneurs that have something in the startup phase. (This, admittedly, has been tough some weeks!)

So in my nature of geeky overanalysis, I recently started wondering why do I like startups so much? Aren’t massive corporations like Home Depot, Coke, UPS, Apple, PGi, Microsoft, just as interesting? Aren’t there plenty of cool ideas happening within and around these companies? They certainly have figured out the sustainable wealth building part of corporate growth, so why am I not attracted to them?

I think it comes down to this: change.

What I’m really addicted to is change. I can’t stand routine that lasts longer than a few weeks. I regularly change around my morning schedule just because it’s new and different. I love to rearrange the furniture in our house more often than any person should. I love to mow my lawn because I love that one minute it’s tall, and 20 minutes later, it’s short. Visible change is even better! (Maybe I’m disclosing a little too much here… starting to sound a little OCD to myself…) But I digress…

The point is that startups exist to make change. They change routines, ideas, systems, established products and processes… startups = change! Not only that, but, just like mowing the lawn, their progress and the contrast between “was” and “is” can be seen without difficulty.

Startups are also a good place for team members who like change. In my companies, those folks who were around the longest usually ended up wearing many hats, sometimes simultaneously, sometimes switching rolls monthly. Never a dull moment when you are learning and growing a scrappy company. I’m sure my HR friends have some neat tricks for interview questions and methods to determine a candidates tolerance for constant change.

So if you’re considering being involved in a startup, my advice (even though you didn’t ask for it) is to question your tolerance for change. It’s not for everybody.

Selfish Generosity

Joy: the Rewards of Giving

I wrestled with the title of this post because I wanted something more unique than “you get out what you put in.” I participate in organizations and groups where people talk about “the value” they receive from XYZ just isn’t there. When you hear this, the first question to ask is, “How much are you putting in?”

This is so frustrating to me because it’s so obvious in so many areas of life, and I wish that the really smart people I know would just understand this very simple fact: give more, get more. But only if you give without expecting to get!

Here are some areas where I wish I would see people giving more freely. Maybe some of these areas you haven’t thought about.

Professional Relationships
You have a lot of connections. You may not think you do, but you do. Your neighbor: do you know what they do for a living? Your in-laws? The guy you were paired up with on the golf course last weekend? We all have a network that holds tremendous value. All we have to do to unlock this value is offer it to others. It’s painfully simple: connect the dots. Make a constant and vigilant effort to offer introductions. GIVE your network to others and it will come back to you tenfold. For one example, if you think there is someone I would like to know, please introduce them to me today! I throw up a little in my mouth when someone says to me “I don’t really like networking.” Dude, to network is to be human. To network is to have relationships. To network is to share relationships. It’s not selling, it’s not taking, it’s giving. Give, give, give.

Take Leadership Roles
The most valuable and beneficial organizations to me are the ones I have given the most time and energy to. I don’t give because I receive value. I receive value because I give. What’s the easiest way to give time and energy: volunteer for a leadership position. Especially if you are in a startup or growth company mode. The more you put yourself out there for others, the bigger, faster, and better the rewards will be for you, your team, and your vision. Give, give, give. Give time, give ideas, give money, give connections. Give and ye shall receive.

Friendships
Friends are fun, but have you ever tried to make a regular effort to go out of your way to do nice things for your friends. Offer to babysit kids so friends can have a date night, offer to sit down over a beer and work through a business challenge, offer to pay for dinner once in a while just because, offer to throw a party and make the goal a relaxing time for everyone. Having friends is the most rewarding blessing for many of us, and it becomes even more rewarding when you embrace that a friend is an opportunity for you to give to someone in a meaningful way. Give, give, give.

Conferences
Say what, JC?! I paid a ton of money to attend that conference, it’s not my job to give anything… it’s the job of the organizers to give me a great experience. Bzrrrzzzzzz! WRONGO! Think about what a conference is: it’s a gathering of professionals who share something in common. It’s a gathering of people. The energy and value from the gathering is decided directly by the participants. Forget the organizers, they just got you all in the same place. I plan to write some full length posts on this, but quickly some ways to give at conferences: Sit in the front of the room at sessions to support the speakers. Ask questions in sessions. Go to happy hours and receptions and don’t spend all your time in a huddle with your friends. Reach out to those traveling alone and make them feel welcome. Offer yourself to the conference organizer. They always can use more volunteers. Simply participate. Show up! Give, give, give.. and ye conference value shall be returned!

Exercise
This one is big to me. The more attention I give my body to keep it healthy, the more it rewards me with clear thinking, happy energy, and the ability to get out of bed every morning. I’m not just talking about being healthy to live longer, I’m talking about being healthy to LIVE ALL DAY LONG. My best days are the ones after my hardest workouts. The days when I skip are the days I get grumpy. Give it up for your body. Until my Human Clone Startup is funded enough to reach massive scale, it’s the only body you have.

Social Media
This was an epiphany for me courtesy of Kevin O’Keefe of LexBlog at an ACLEA conference several years ago. Kevin explained that the secret first-step to creating meaningful content for blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc, is to just listen. Conversations are happening online all around us. If we listen to them, we will start to participate. We will share our opinions. We will share what we learn with others. The more we start sharing, the more listening we will do. The more we listen, the more we have to give. The more time and attention we give to these conversations, the more value we receive. We make ourselves better by listening and giving to these conversations every day.

Family Intensity
This one is a no-brainer. To those unavoidable rough patches in marriage, those stressful days with the kids… think about the root cause of almost every single problem in family: someone hasn’t given enough something. Usually that something is attentive, engaged time. I’m sad to admit that I can tell a slight increase in the kids’ bad behavior when I’m pulled away mentally or physically to other things. The same goes for my wife. The same goes for me. The answer, as hard as it is to implement, is clear: give more. Don’t demand more. Don’t complain that you don’t get enough. Give more. Just give. Give, give, give.

Now take ye this post and find something you can give today. Even if it’s just paying for the person behind you in the drive-thru, just do it. You never know what will come back around to you… but I do know what will come around to you: good things. That’s my 100% Johnson Cook Guarantee.

Over.

A Short Summary of “A Short Guide to a Happy Life”

I love this little book. Since is only a 20-minute read, I’ve been reading it over and over! The book is “A Short Guide to a Happy Life” by Anna Quindlen.

It’s not long enough for a summary, but I’d love to share some of my favorite quotes and nuggets.

Don’t ever confuse your life and your work. The second is only a part of the first. “No man ever said on his deathbed I wish I had spent more time in the office.” … “If you win the rat race, you are still a rat.” … “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.”
Thousands of other people can claim to do what you do, but you are the only one who is you. You have sole custody of your experiences, your relationships, your heart, your soul.
Your soul is important. Pay attention to it and nurture it.
I love that when Anna described her “real life resume,” she kept using the phrase “I show up.” This struck me because it emphasizes how important simply showing up is to your friends, your family, your church, your real life. Just show up.
You never know when your life will change dramatically. When you get the phone call from a parent who now has cancer, or you yourself are diagnosed with something bad, or your spouse, or a child. The book reminds you not to live in fear of these moments, but to appreciate that today you have a life that could slip from your hands faster than you ever thought possible. I’ve seen it happen to my friends around me, and I am ashamed at how easily I forget.
“We have an embarrassment of riches” … yet we can never make enough money or get to that next level. Slow down, and live life all out.

That’s my short list of nuggets from a short book. I encourage you to buy a hardback copy and read it regularly.

Flying and Lessons Learned on Fear

One of the side effects of pushing yourself to new limits, expanding your horizons, and generally living life to its fullest is that occasionally you will sense the inevitable presence of fear. I’ve never encountered someone who is immune to fear. I’m not sure it’s possible. If it is, I’m not sure it’s healthy. What I’ve found personally is that fear must be managed. It must be appreciated as a motivating factor, but you must keep it just behind you. If fear starts to take hold of you, it can draw you in and paralyze you. Use this as a motivating factor and keep fear at arms length in the proper direction: behind you… and then keep moving.

To use some more pilot stories, there are times when I’ve let fear ding me, and there are times when I’ve clearly manhandled it into submission. I’d like to share both because they are great learning experiences.

Flying between layers

The first instance that comes to mind was my very first night flight in low IFR (that means taking off into the clouds) all alone in the airplane. There is nothing like flying alone in the clouds even in daylight, but try doing it at night and you will discover that your heart can beat at speeds you never thought possible. You will discover a new meaning of “alone.” I took off from Fulton County Airport (KFTY) headed to Thomasville, GA (KTVI). One of the procedures in the plane I was flying is to use a fuel boost pump for take off, then switch it off at a certain altitude. In this plane the boost pump switch is on the left side of the cockpit in a row of about four switches. Usually there is enough ambient light in the cockpit to see the switch labels clearly, so they are not backlit. This dark and cloudy night, I took off and was in the clouds almost immediately. Dealing with the business of Atlanta airspace’s traffic control, juggling controllers and takeoff checklists, I was already pretty anxious… but then it came time to switch off the boost pump, and because it was so dark, I realized I couldn’t tell what the switches were! And worse… I couldn’t remember the order of them on the panel. So it was the oddest thing, but I could feel the fear grab me and began to squeeze.

My heart was racing and my mind was slowing down to fixate on one tiny, stupid, essentially insignificant which switch decision! I was terrified I was going to turn off the master switch, instead of the boost pump, (which wouldn’t have turned off the airplane, just so you know) but it would have turned off most of the lights in the cockpit, while I was in the clouds all alone. Not where I wanted to be. Yikes! That’s when it was very apparent to me that fear had grabbed me and I was becoming ineffective. Who knows what other, more important details I was missing.

My lesson learned from this is that fear is sometimes born from being unprepared. In that particular situation, I simply should have known the airplane I was flying better, and I should have known exactly which switch to flip just as a blind person can read brail. Also, had I been able to manage the fear better, I would have calmly realized that maybe the best decision was to just leave the boost pump turned on, which was perfectly fine.

Back in 1996, I was sitting on the bus with the great Alfred Watkins, one of the directors of the Atlanta Olympic Band and we were on the way to the Olympic Stadium to perform at the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics. I asked him “Are you nervous?” His response was this,

“Why would I be nervous? We are prepared. If you prepare, then fear is irrelevant. You simply know you can do the job. We are prepared. No fear.”

So be prepared.

DA40 "Stack"

Another airplane story for you that isn’t quite as stressful. I was flying home with a friend one night from a work conference in Miami and we had stopped in south Georgia for fuel. We were flying a DiamondStar DA40, that was equipped with a cylinder head temperature (CHT) monitoring instrument. That meant we had a temperature reading for each of the 4-cylinders in the engine pushing us through the sky. The procedure is to monitor those bad boys and keep the airplane just at the right temps. Too hot and it’s the first sign of trouble in the hamster wheel. To make a long story short, we took off just at dusk, climbed to altitude quickly and all of a sudden the temp on cylinder #3 shot way up… like to 1700 F… and they were supposed to be around 1400. I didn’t know that Mr. Farenheit went that high, and I sure as hell didn’t think that we would see a number like that without seeing smoke first. Dude!!

However, this time there was no fear. My friend and I knew what had to be done. We had altitude, so we pull back the power, we call ATC explain the situation and ask for the nearest airport. Following all the training and emergency procedures in the book, we turn towards Albany, GA (KABY), called the tower. They asked if we needed emergency equipment ready and the we waited until we were sure we could glide to a successful landing before we responded with the negative. We landed safely and all was well… and my favorite part about that was that it was a great demonstration of Alfred Watkins mantra… preparation makes fear irrelevant. Instead of fear taking hold, we were harnessing the elevated anxiety and thinking faster, clearer, and more effectively.

Takeaways from this post:

1. Keep fear behind you.

2. Be confident that you are prepared.

3. Keep moving.

Your thoughts?

A Trick Next Time You’re in a Crowd

I have no idea where, how, or why I started doing this, but recently, I made an internal decision to do something crazy in public. When I’m walking around a conference, a networking event, a restaurant, or even the store, I do something off-the-wall that most people don’t dare do…

…are you ready…?

…for no reason at all…

…right there in front of strangers and the world…

…I actually will…

Smile.

It’s the oddest thing. I don’t know if someone told me this and I forgot, or if I observed it accidentally, but it is the neatest way to feel better, lighter on your feet, more confident, and more willing to say hello. It’s not difficult to smile. My parents were right when they said it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, so there’s another plus. It’s a true source of energy for me, that I hope you will try.

Those who know me often have a hard time believing me when I say that I’m actually a little introverted. Maybe it comes in waves, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy to meet new people, hear about their stories, and share mine. I would rather just hang out in the corner reading e-mails and conference materials. However, recently I was at a conference and I recognized that I was feeling pretty low on the energy level, so I decided to walk around smiling. Who knew!? Sure enough it turned around my whole mood.

Give it a try. Actually, give it a try right now. Smile at the screen and notice how suddenly you just feel better. Seriously… are you smiling right now? Don’t make me hack your webcam and find out. Just smile, dude.

Action ain’t Pretty

Ugly Baby I need to provide a necessary contrast to yesterday’s post on excellence. Given how much I encourage others to take a leap, make a move, use your potential and make some kinetic energy, let’s talk about what action actually looks like. Action ain’t pretty!

Many times I hear wannapreneuers talk about how they are waiting to start turning their idea into a company until they get XYX, or have enough to “do it right or don’t do it at all.” While I appreciate and admire their commitment to excellence, I want them to know that the first steps in anything are not going to be the place where you realize excellence. Actually, the first iterations of anything are usually going to suck pretty bad! That’s how we learn and get better.

I’m around guys and gals lately who have sold big successful companies and are out spooling up new ventures. It’s amazing to see the contrast between what they are leaving and what they are starting. The companies they’ve sold have been established with precision processes, beautiful marketing messages, incredible brand momentum, and well-defined products and services… but the output of their new ventures is not even close! Non-entrepreneurs who I’ve talked to about some of these new ventures created by successful entrepreneurs have made comments to me like “I really expected his new baby to look a little sharper than this…” or “Maybe he just got lucky last time, because this one doesn’t look nearly as well thought out as the last one did.”

My response:

What you are seeing is action. This is learning in progress. Watch how fast they will learn and ramp up.

This is the secret sauce… as the Lean Startup movement says, we build first, then measure, then learn. But you have to realize that the thing that is built first is not going to be very impressive. It is a minimum viable product.

However, what you are also seeing is ACTION. You are seeing people who are willing to take the first step, throw an ugly baby out in front of the world, have no shame in failure, and are ready to learn.

The same applies to changes to existing organizations. You may be trying out a new weekly meeting format, strategic planning framework, or marketing strategy… the first time you implement, don’t expect perfection! This will drive you (and your team) crazy. Appreciate that you are making change and that the first phase of any change is not usually what you will ultimately end up with.

So if you are starting something new and are feeling down because you feel like “Excellence” is an unreachable destination, don’t be down on yourself. You have a product, a service, a company, a direction and you did what most people are too afraid to ever do: you took ACTION! You put one foot in front of the other! Now keep your head down, and keep learning!

When Excellence Meets Tradition

Peachtree Road UMC - Mander Organ I think a lot about my experience as a “user” in church on Sunday mornings. When I say think, I mean analyze it into the ground. Personally, I refuel each week by having this time in a group setting to be openly spiritual with no distractions. It is a relief for me. If I go too long without a Sunday morning church experience, I start to feel like something is missing. So for all these selfish reasons, I spend a lot of time analyzing the “user experience” of attending church. I’d like to share some of my observations, because they are relevant to everything else in life.

For the last 11 years, my wife and I were members of Peachtree Road UMC in Atlanta. We loved this church. It exudes excellence in worship. And it’s not just me saying this, by the way, it even resides on a USA Today list of Top 10 Great Places to be Enthralled by Heavenly Music alongside the great National Cathedral, Mormon Tabernacle, and others.

But sadly, as part of our family migration to the burbs, we had to let go of PRUMC. Searching for a church was a learning experience for me. It forced me to think about why I loved PRUMC so much and what were we looking for as a family to replace it.

We visited big churches with electric guitars, smoke machines, lasers, and drums, we visited some smaller churches with pipe organs, friendly people, and good pastors, and we visited churches in between. When my wife and I started to learn what we wanted, we realized it wasn’t really about the kind of music, the size of the building, or even the style of worship… what we craved most, and what we were attracted to at our last church was the blatantly visible commitment to excellence.

The worship team at PRUMC shoots for the stars. They are always pulling out the stops… they are always looking to add to the experience of the worshiper. No detail is left untouched. Everything is planned and executed with near-perfection. I think this energy in itself is inpsiring! The output of what they were planning just makes it even better.

I relate this back to my post on Freedom through Structure. PRUMC is a traditional worship experience. It’s what many in the church biz, call “high church” … they create this awesome user experience within the structure of a highly traditional Methodist worship experience. They are creative as heck, but only within the structure of a defined worship sequence. That’s what makes it so awesome for the “user!” You know what to expect when the Doxology starts because you know the words, the reasons, the meaning, but you don’t expect that extra little organ fanfare at the end… or the acolytes exact precision in their presentation at the altar. On Palm Sunday, you know there is going to be an opening procession where the choir enters the room with all the trimmings of crosses, banners, and finally the clergy… but what you don’t expect is the children’s choir following them waving palm branches and singing, with the handbells and brass adding to the experience. They take the tradition of procession and add fire, passion, and obvious goal of excellence… for an awesome outcome.

Just to wrap up our story I will share that we ended up joining Peachtree City United Methodist Church last month and so far we are extremely impressed with Rev. Steve Dodson’s commitment to excellence. He’s new to the church, but he’s got all the fire and energy of someone who is going to bring a big and clear vision of inspiring and energetic traditional worship to a church that has the potential to be inspiring to many on a regular basis. Stay tuned for updates on the progress.

Why I’m Doing This

Yesterday (Sunday) morning, I had an exceptional and accidental “early church” with myself starting at 5am. I’m up at 5 almost every day for my “uberproductive hour,” but on Sundays I try to focus on reading less ‘businessy’ type work, try to also listen to some good music, and stay away from e-mail.

Yesterday’s time was spent reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I’m sure I can already predict which of you readers will shoot me the “Dude, you’re THAT late to the party!?” … but if you are one of the few that hasn’t read it, I strongly recommend you take an hour of your week and find a quiet place to do so.

I read this book at the recommendation of Brad Feld. Brad is a Venture Capitalist who blog regularly with an awesome following. He just published a new book, Beyond The Blog: Brad Feld’s Burning Entrepreneur: How to Launch, Fund, and Set. In thee book he explains that Jonathan Livingston Seagull is one of his top two favorite books.

If you’ve read it, you can probably predict where this is going… and if you’ve been following me, you really can predict that this book inspired me. Like, inspired me big. I loved it.

I spent the rest of the morning on a 4.5 mile walk (*note: walking only since my knees are requiring a hiatus from running… swimming laps for real workouts right now) and listening to every song on my music fuel playlist, and simply grinning ear to ear.

Brad Feld gave me a nugget. A simple task of sharing his favorite book caused me to become greatly inspired. I mean greatly inspired!! How many others did he inspire? Does he even know the influence he had on my life from that nugget?

Thanks to him sharing that nugget, I was refueled. Yesterday. My energy and happiness is now off the charts, and I’m ready to conquer this week, next week, and whatever lies ahead.

I don’t expect to inspire the masses, but I hope that I can provide a constant stream of nuggets, so that somewhere, someday, someone will find something that inspires them, that refuels them, and helps them accelerate into new opportunities in life.

I ask that if you are a recipient of something that inspires you, even just a little bit… to do myself, yourself, and someone else a favor, and share a note with a link to this blog… the more the merrier.

Oh yeah, and read about the Seagull ASAP.

Venture Energy Blog

Seeking Perpetual Inspiration as Entrepreneurial Fuel